Professional football (or as it’s called everywhere outside the US, ‘American football’) is in its off-season. Players and coaches kick-back while the journos and beat writers desperately feed from a barren pasture of dubious rumors and hackneyed commentary. Two things in the off-season are certain. One, players will get arrested more frequently than during the pre-, post-, or regular season. Two, every pundit and his dog will mine the San Diego Union Tribune’s publicly-available player arrest database for any marginally-novel angle on those arrest rates.