Below are a number of words and concepts that I am, quite arrogantly, claiming to have created, on the off-chance that they eventually make it into general use and subsequently the Oxford English Dictionary – thus representing the literary legacy I leave to advocates of the English language. Most recent first.

(P.s. You’re welcome, English.)

January 5, 2016: Online exposers. Having suggested in 2015 that one shouldn’t consider all inappropriate behavior towards children online as ‘online grooming’ (because not all of those behaviours are purposefully preparatory), this term was intended to distinguish those individuals who are online with the aim of showing someone images of their genitals – either in still or video form – without necessarily having any further aim.

The more solicitation transcripts I read the more I think there’s a sizable minority who would be better classified as “online exposers”

— Ian A. Elliott (@ianaelliott) January 5, 2016


September 17, 2013: Douglas Moore’s Law. A derivative of Moore’s Law (Douglas Moore was a composer as opposed to an electronics pioneer), this law states that every two years the number of transistors on integrated circuits double (as in Moore’s Law), yet somehow the auditory quality of digital on-hold music on the telephone halves.


June 18, 2013: Pornarche (noun). First exposure to any imagery that could reasonably be defined as pornographic. From the English pornography (printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity: itself from the Greek pornographos, meaningthe writing of harlots’) and arche (beginning). Lexically akin to menarche (first menstrual cycle in female humans) and coitarche (first sexual intercourse).


Unknown date, 2006: Gruber’s Law #2. If you are ill, get drunk. It’s a hangover in leiu. (You’re going feel awful the next day anyway, right?)